Green Shavings and High Heels: The High School ‘Lasts’ Aren’t Easy
When I opened the door, my jaw dropped. Clothes covered every square inch of her room, as if 20 suitcases had simultaneously exploded. Scattered amongst the clothes were piles of papers, race bibs and boots – a road map of the crazy journey she’s been on this fall. Despite what every mother in her right mind would be tempted to do in that moment, I paused when I saw her black heels in the middle of the mess.
Inside of those heels were the remnants of green shavings from the final stop they made at the North American International Livestock Exposition in Louisville – a symbol of the last of several “lasts” for our high school senior this fall.
Our daughter has been looking forward to her senior year for some time. But not this mom. I know she has to grow up and move on to the next chapter in her life, but I’m quite content to spend my Saturday mornings cheering her on at the cross-country course, listening to her practice for her FFA contests late at night and watching her work with her livestock out in the pasture.
During the past three weeks, she competed in two contests at the National FFA Convention, hung up her spikes after her last state cross-country race, showed her ewe lamb at NAILE, competed in the National 4-H Quiz Bowl and helped lead her last county 4-H Achievement Celebration.
The pressure has been high around this house, but the lessons have been life changing. Here are a few that stand out.
1. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
If you want to perform at a high level, make sure you are listening to the right people. Shut out the negative voices. Find people who believe in you and genuinely want to see you succeed. It’s harder than you would think and sometimes means moving out of your comfort zone to find the right voices.
2. It’s the work you do in private that sets you apart.
Discipline is key to success in sports, FFA contests and life. Juggling varied interests has helped our daughter learn the joy that comes from putting in the work that no one sees. Being away from your team the week of the state meet to be at National FFA Convention means you have to do the hard work on your own – sacrificing and prioritizing to get it all done.
3. Be nice to your brother.
It takes a team. This crazy fall has reminded all of our kids of the importance of teamwork. They’ve learned how to juggle responsibilities and share the workload to make things happen. Our daughter and son had the opportunity to compete on two teams together this fall. Having that connection sharpened their abilities because who wants to get beat by their sibling? But most importantly, it grew their friendship. She never has to question her brother is behind her.
4. It’s one thing to say it, it’s another to show up.
I am so grateful for her coaches and our family members who have pushed her to try new things, set insane goals and then checked in on her along the way. It’s one thing to be supportive in what you say, but it’s another to walk beside someone in the day-to-day to help them stay on course to make that vision a reality. Watching this happen in her life has reminded me to be that person for people in my life. Words matter, but our actions also carry great power.
5. Soak it all in – it goes by fast.
As the halfway mark of her senior year approaches, it’s not lost on me that no landscaping or house improvements took place this fall. I haven’t worked on her scrapbooks or printed photos. My internal expectations for myself as the mom of a senior are falling short, but I was there. I showed up, soaked it in, cheered, cried, celebrated, consoled and I was in it with her. I’ve never had a senior before, but I think those are the things I’d regret not doing.
By the way, she cleaned up her room eventually. But her shoes have permanent stains from the green shavings that make me oddly proud. They remind me of the journey she took to chase her dreams and the privilege of cheering her on along the way.
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