Don’t Doubt Your Purpose When You Find Yourself in a Weird Spot
The other night my daughter and I had a conversation I hope we never forget.
She was the back-up to the back-up for a relay that ran in the state track meet last weekend. Being the back-up to the back-up is a weird spot. We talked about how there will be a lot of times in life when we find ourselves in those weird spots.
But sometimes those weird spots allow us to do something far greater than we can imagine. For example, last weekend it allowed her to warm up with her teammates and be a listening ear to help calm nerves and encourage them before their race.
Would she have liked to be running on the infamous blue oval? Of course. But it served as a reality check for me as her mother. Even when we run into momentary “weird spots,” we should never doubt the purpose of where we are at in a given moment in time.
Often the very best thing we can do is encourage someone else along in their journey. Our world needs it more than ever and the statistics back it up.
Admittedly, I’m not the type of person who needs to see the numbers. But I was overwhelmed by some of the mental health statistics I uncovered.
It’s Time to Stop Pretending
Nearly one in five American adults will have a diagnosable mental health condition in any given year, reports Mental Health America. Meanwhile, 46% of Americans will meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental health condition sometime in their life, and half of those people will develop conditions by the age of 14.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, young adults ages 18 to 25 in the U.S. have the highest rate of experiencing any mental health concerns at 30.6%. Most alarming to me was that suicide is the second leading cause of death for U.S. children ages 10 to 14, preceded only by unintentional injury.
We can’t keep looking the other way and pretending everything is fine. We have to be family and friends who start putting each other first and stop being a society that prides itself on the idea of “you do you.”
That’s not working.
The Trampoline Analogy
During the pandemic, Sean Brotherson, an Extension family life specialist at North Dakota State University, shared his trampoline analogy and it’s stuck with me since.
“Trampolines are like your friends during a crisis. If you’ve ever bounced on a trampoline, you know it will catch you and bounce you back up. That’s what supportive relationships are like in our lives,” he said.
I won’t deny that I need this reminder and I bet some of you do, too. The pandemic may be over, but as life gets busier and busier, it’s easy for me to cut out time with friends. All of a sudden, life gets lonely fast when we stop prioritizing time to connect with others.
Brotherson suggests we take 15 minutes each day for uninterrupted conversation with a friend or family member. And just as importantly, get involved or stay connected with a friend or a group of friends – multiple times a day.
Friendship is Good for Your Health
I’ve been part of an online group for over 15 years now. Although we rarely get to see each other in person because we live all across the U.S., I know I’ve always got a group of friends I can reach out to for support and guidance when life gets tough. We commit to regular communication and checking in weekly, if not more. The result? Deep-rooted friendships where we’ve been able to share real life together. We all need to know we can turn to someone when the going gets tough because it always does.
Even the Mayo Clinic says good friends are good for your health. Friends prevent us from falling into isolation and loneliness.
Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). Studies have found that older adults who have meaningful relationships and social support are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.
Say Something
It’s been over a year since I wrote about Maddison Caldwell’s journey and her attempts at suicide. One of the lessons I learned while writing about Maddison came from her dad, Todd Caldwell. He shared how grateful he was for his friends who reached out – even if it was after the fact.
It’s not easy to know how to respond in those situations, he pointed out. If you freeze up or don’t know what to say or do, just keep trying. Don’t give up. Saying something is better than never reaching out.
Since then, I’ve been privileged to have many real and hard and honest conversations with teenagers, retired farmers, college girls, fellow parents and my peers in agriculture. I know our mental health is a hard topic to discuss. But when I think about what happens when we don’t, I’m reminded that we have to become people who start the conversations, ask the questions and learn how to really “see” people.
Sometimes we will be the one in the race, and other times, we’ll be called to be the back-up to the back-up. No matter what lane we are in, we all need the support of our friends. How can you take the first step to be that support to someone else?
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and has been observed in the U.S. since 1949 to raise awareness about mental health.
Click here to download the free eBook "Your Guide to Mental Health."
Read More about Mental Health & Wellness:
By Her Own Hand: A Farm Girl’s Miraculous Journey from Death to Hope
Pay Attention to Warning Signs of Stress
5 Ways to Work Through Difficult Times
Lack of Understanding Leads to Loneliness in Farmers
Toxic Grit: Is Our Greatest Strength Our Greatest Weakness on the Farm?
Farmers, Ranchers Have Ways to Manage Stress
Suicide Prevention: Your Worth Isn't Measured By The Markets
Don’t Let Social Distancing Lead to Social Isolation
