I walked into the banquet room and saw so many faces of people I have been fortunate to know over the years as the wife of a University of Illinois faculty member and as a former employee of the college. But there was one face missing and try as I might, I couldn’t help but look for him without even realizing what I was doing.
At the end of August, as the first week of class came to a close, my husband’s mentor and dear friend, Doug Parrett, passed away unexpectedly late one Friday afternoon. It was a beautiful, sunny day and there was nowhere more fitting for him to finish off the day besides the golf course.
Professor. Husband. Cattle judge. Father. Administrator. Colleague. Golfer. Educator. Friend.
Of all the ways you could describe Parrett, I can’t help but think my husband summed it up best: Dr. Parrett prioritized people. In every relationship, he knew how to prioritize others – how to show them support, how to listen, how to encourage and how to motivate.
When my husband was a new graduate student, the regular touchbases started up between the pair and they gradually transitioned from a student-teacher relationship to dear friends. The conversations shifted from Parrett telling my husband about his children’s sports activities to my husband telling Parrett about his children’s.
Parrett loved our family better than we deserved. Whether he was watching on the sidelines of the state fair meat goat show or texting my husband about the Sunday morning News Gazette story on the Unity cross country team, his interest and belief in our family was always felt.
Perhaps I’m the most grateful my husband always knew he had someone in his corner, someone who checked in and listened, someone who believed he could do anything. We all need those people in our lives. I also believe we are called to be those people for others.
When Loss Spurs Growth
Since we lost Parrett this fall, I’ve been determined to do better – to not miss opportunities to let people know how much I appreciate them. As I sat with my junior college judging coaches Dan Hoge and Lee Denzer, celebrating Denzer’s award of merit achievement, I let myself slow down for a minute to take it all in.
We live in such a hurried world – and don’t get me wrong – I hurry with the best of them. But I never want to hurry so much that I lose sight of the importance of showing up for others. This has been a year marked by many losses and many reminders that each day is a gift not to take for granted.
Show Up for Others
The awards banquet was hard for many of us as the reality of our loss settled in again. We were missing one of the best – a University of Illinois College of ACES event without Dr. Parrett just felt off. But as Denzer said, “I know he was there in spirit.”
Parrett lived life in a way we should all aspire to – a life that put people first, that invested in others and found a way to let people shine. How can we be more like that in how we show up for others in the year ahead?
Maybe it’s a simple thank you to an employee for a job well done, making time to sit at the dinner table and visit with your family, or checking in with a neighbor who’s going through a hard time. Showing up for others is easier when we pause to remember what’s important in life.
More from Jennifer Shike:
Numbers Matter: How Will You Crush Your Goals This Year?
Beyond Face Value: How Will You Get to the Next Level?
No, Showing Livestock Isn’t Always Supposed to Be Fun
