My wife and I are naturally very competitive people. Our daughters Ella and Rose have tried a wide variety of activities throughout elementary and middle school, but the two they are the most excited about are 4-H and softball. Our evenings and weekends are packed with meetings, practices, games and working with show pigs.
Both girls play softball, and Ella joined her first travel team a year ago. Ella has shown pigs for about eight years and Rose has had the chance to exhibit some of those in showmanship. Currently, Rose is preparing the first barrow of her own for the Florida National Barrow Show in September. Soon, she will be picking out pigs for the Florida State Fair and our county fair in Spring 2026. Playing softball and showing pigs are activities that our girls enjoy, and my wife and I are excited to help them pursue their interests.
Ella joined her first travel softball team last fall as a 12-year-old playing on a 14-and-under team. Her inexperience playing at this level combined with being one of the youngest players on the team meant she was drinking from a firehose. Ella worked hard, learned to take critique and direction, and was a starting player this past spring. Most of her teammates complemented travel softball with school softball and a few other interests.
Both my wife and I exhibited pigs, and both of our dads raised pigs while we were growing up. Our girls have been showing pigs since 2018 with modest success, but we have not won a class at a national show or even had the county fair grand champion. We have more swine experience and knowledge than most county fair families, but we don’t have a 12-pen trailer and we work within a defined budget.
This spring our older daughter played 44 softball games, nine of which were lost by eight or more runs and eight of which were won by eight or more runs, analogous to playing college teams or marginal rec league teams. A good friend pointed out that there is no longer a middle ground -- today’s culture is all or nothing. I see this in the college students I teach. Parents have children specialize in extracurricular activities at a very young age, to such a level they minimize the well-rounded, jack-of-all-trades, master of none, ideology.
It is unlikely that my daughters will become Division I athletes or win a national swine show. However, my wife and I aim to raise winners both on and off the field and in and outside the ring. Softball and showing pigs serve as awesome opportunities to improve grit, confidence, work ethic, problem solving and leadership skills. In the last year, we’ve seen these skills in action as our girls have chased their interests and strived to improve every day. While winning a game or the county fair would be great, we are acutely aware of the long-term benefits that our daughters will develop through striving to improve every day.
My wife and I want to compete at a high level, but within reason (even though I’m still trying to convince my wife to purchase a nicer trailer!). Parenting is obviously a hard job, but it is absolutely one of the greatest joys in life. By supporting our girls’ interests in the middle while keeping the focus on life skills, we can raise exceptional young leaders that will make an impact on whatever careers they pursue.
Carr is a meat scientist at the University of Florida.
