What constitutes a great beard? That’s a great question. For JoAnn Alumbaugh, one of the three judges in the 2023 Farm Journal’s PORK’s Best Beards in the Pork Industry Contest, it wasn’t easy to sort as they all “made the cut” so to speak.
“A quality beard should be well-groomed and cared for. The beard should fit the face and personality of the wearer,” explains Alumbaugh, a freelance writer. “For example, if someone looks like Santa Claus, then they should act like Santa Claus. If someone looks like a mountain man, they should be a mountain man. If someone looks like they stepped out of the pages of Gentlemen’s Quarterly...you get my drift.”
For judge Chip Flory, host of AgriTalk, he likes to evaluate the beards with a different lens each time he judges. In the past, he evaluated the beards from the pig’s perspective. This year, he put on his chef’s apron and matched up beards with his favorite pork cuts in mind.
From comments like “too thinly sliced piece of ham” to “a pork butt of a beard,” Flory had a good time evaluating a very competitive group of beards that ranged in length, neatness, color and texture.
Heidi Flory, a Pennsylvania pork producer and 2021 Pennsylvania Elite Ms. United States Agriculture and 2021 PA Miss Agriculture Advocacy Ambassador, says in her initial beard assessment, she was looking at symmetry and balance in relation to the shape of the face, how neatly they were trimmed around the mouth, and the evident effort, or lack of, it takes to maintain.
“Is it clean and well-groomed or does it look like you slipped in the alley this morning after loading out three trucks in excessive temps and skipped the shower?” Heidi laughs. “If I were sitting across the table from you at dinner, would I be able to focus on our conversation about all things pork, or would my gaze be locked on the hot bacon dressing lingering on your chin?”
With those things in mind, the serious panel of judges agreed that the 2023 Farm Journal’s PORK’s Best Beard in the Pork Industry title goes to Tony “The Hopper” Haupert of Asbury, Iowa. The judges remarked on the “au naturale” look of this beard and the lovely wave and color variation. Not to mention Alumbaugh notes he could easily fit in as a member of ZZ Top.
1st Place: Tony “The Hopper” Haupert
“When you go into competition, you’ve got to be willing to show off what you’ve got...and this guy is flaunting a whole rack of ribs hanging off his face,” Chip says.
Haupert is devoted to showcasing pork in its best light during the famous Iowa State Fair at JR’s SouthPork Ranch on the Iowa State Fairgrounds.
“For me, this was an easy winner,” Chip adds. “It’s like what the judge says at some county fairs: ‘This one could have handled some more competition.’”
Haupert is from Asbury, Iowa. He grew up on a hog farm, and now serves as a wildlife technician for DNR when he’s not working for JR’s Southpork Ranch. He also helps Berkwood Farms, Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival and the Bacoon Ride.
“I nominated The Hopper as he always is up to help various events promoting Iowa pork,” says his nominator Brooks Reynolds, founder of the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival. “He is very generous.”
Perhaps what makes this year’s winner even more worthy of the prize is that he is shaving his beard to help raise money for a children’s cancer charity.
“I shaved my beard a few years ago for a little girl in my town that had cancer. She was so impressive. She smiled all the time even through things that would make a grown-up cry,” Haupert says. “She was the strongest person I’ve ever met and that changed me for life. She since has passed, and I thought this could be done again to help raise some money to help fight children’s cancer.”
2nd place: Blake Warren
“This fella fell asleep one night in third grade and woke up with a full beard. I like the fullness and the way that silver stands out from the rest of the entries,” Heidi says. “This beard says, ‘I’ve been there’ and is completely and utterly unphased. It has hovered over a grill flare-up and remained completely unsinged without so much as a step back. It has gone from a wild ride on a hog, complete with fringe leather, with the sun setting in the background, to a beach chair sipping umbrella drinks listening to Jimmy Buffet, to watching the grandkid’s show at the county fair, without ever being out of place.”
Heidi was a big fan of the second-place winning beard of Blake Warren’s from Newton Grove, N.C. Warren is a sales technician with Hog Slat and has faithfully been serving North Carolina pork producers for almost 16 years.
His nominator, David Herring, says, “Blake is not only a dedicated employee, he is an even better person. He always has a great attitude, and the customers and fellow coworkers enjoy his enthusiastic personality everyday!”
3rd place: Adam Ross
“Now that’s a nice beard!” Alumbaugh says about third-place winner, Adam Ross of Pollocksville, N.C. “It looks fully brushed and seems to fit the wearer’s countenance, which says, ‘I’m confident and you don’t want to mess with me.’ He looks like an outdoorsman and it’s hard to picture him without a beard.”
Ross is a sales manager for Advanced Composting in North Carolina and is the owner/operator of Ross Livestock, a direct market farm selling beef, pork, eggs, pecans and apples.
Nominator Wayne Barrett of Hanor Company of Wisconsin, says, “Adam is very knowledgeable and helpful in working with us and our compost facilities. Adam still has his ‘mountain’ accent. That is why I think Adam is so deserving.”
4th place: Matthew Jewell
“Beard 4 is an awesome entry. This is like the winner of a regional whole-hog cookoff competing against the best-of-the-best in Memphis,” Chip says of Matthew Jewell’s fourth-place beard.
Jewell serves as the rendering supervisor for Prestage Foods of Iowa in Eagle Grove, Iowa.
“We nominated Matthew because he’s a really great human and a rendering supervisor who renders a really great beard!” says his nominator and colleague Katherine Dornath Cook of Prestage Foods.
5th place: Mike Mott
“Nothing goes better with bacon than a beautiful beard. The hints of silver add character, and this is a manly man-beard. I had to move him down in ranking because I can’t see his eyes and I’d like to know if his eyes complement his beard,” Alumbaugh explains.
Mott is the chief entertainment officer at the Iowa Beer Bus. He also works for the Bacoon Ride presented by Veridian Credit. The Bacoon Ride is a 71-mile bacon-themed bike ride on the Raccoon River Valley Trail in Waukee, Iowa.
“Mike and the Iowa Beer Bus have been helping promote Iowa pork and bacon from the Iowa Bacon Bowl, Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival, Bacoon Ride, RAGBRAI, Knoxville Speedway and more,” says his nominator Brooks Reynolds. “He always rolls up his sleeves and is eager to help out in any way to help the events I put on. He also helps many non-profits all over Iowa by donating his time and money to help a worthy cause.”
Check out the Past Beard Winners:
Bacon-Oiled Beard Brings Home 2022’s Best Beard in the Pork Industry
A Brute of a Beard: Purser Wins 2021 Beard Contest
Unsettling and Awe-Inspiring: Kipker Wins 2020 Beard Contest
Who’s Bringing Home the “Bacon” for Best Beard in Pork Industry?
